Confessions of a Teenage Serial Killer by: Desiree Tocci
January 17th, 2007
So my name is Jeff. Killer is my alias. You are my new best friend. I tell you everything and you can’t tell me anything back. I guess I decided to start writing a journal because I don’t have any friends. It’s not that I’m not likable I just have a secret that’s all. I’m 15 years old, and I’m a teenage serial killer. I have killed lots of people, mostly classmates though. The number probably ranks around 50-100. I live in a hamlet and there are not many people around here who see things. Here, let me tell you a couple stories about victims I’ve killed. It was Wednesday and it was the 4th of January I think. It was raining that day. I remember that. I went to science class. My teacher handed back some tests that we had took last Friday. He handed mine back; F. I stared at the F like it stood for Failure. It stood for so much more though, i just didn’t know it.
"Horrible Job Jeff." My teacher said to me.
Man, did I hate my science teacher. He would fail you just because you didn’t have a complete sentence. Crazy, I know.
"You’re a real winner Jeff. Oh wait. YOU’RE A LOSER!" yelled Tony.
God, did I hate Tony too. The bell soon rang and when the whole class left except for my teacher I thought it was time to do my business. I walked to the door and locked it.
" Jeff stop being stupid. I need to go home. You know I actually have people who care about me", my science teacher said with a lip.
" Shut up old man." I yelled.
He looked at me surprised and I looked at him with his death in my eyes. He would so never see his family again and that was his own fault. I made my way over to his desk and he got up and started to move around the room. I followed him slowly, and he ran. He was scared of me. What a failure. I then followed him a little faster and he was getting even more worried now. He then ran to the door and tried to open it. It was locked though and the key was in my pocket. He was at the door struggling now, so I walked behind him and grabbed the back of his head.
" Want the door to open?" I asked.
"Yes," my teacher replied with a shaky voice.
" Sucks for you then", I replied.
I then took his head and bashed it into the door handle. It made a clamor and he fell to the floor with a huge thump. He then was bleeding. Not too much, but he was bleeding. He was crawling on the floor now and I went and sat on his back. He let a gust of wind out and then he started t o hyperventilate. After he did that he just passed out. I then picked up his head again and tipped it back. I pulled out the key that opened the door. I then took the acute end of the key and I put it to his head. I started to carve into his forehead. He was screaming now and crying. Screaming like you could never imagine. I thought he was literally going to scream so loud that his lungs were going to just come flying out of his body! I kept carving until I was done. I carved an F right into the forehead of my science teacher. That F stood for fantastic because may I say, it came out pretty well. Blood was gushing now and so I went to the window and opened it up. In came the rain that was pouring down outside. It took the blood and started to run it down the drain and out of the science room. Good thing I was doing this here. I then walked back over to my science teacher who now was just lying on the floor curled up in a little ball crying. I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. You would have laughed too right? I then reached him and then decided I didn’t want to kill him just yet. In the corner there was a metal pole that was used on a cart to hold things together. I went over to the cart and ripped off the pole. I then carried it over to my science teacher and hit him in the back with it.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
"OOOOWWWWWWW!!!!" yelled my teacher bawling his eyes out.
I hit him more until he wasn’t moving at all. I then leaned down to his face to see if he was still breathing. He was. I then took a hold of his head and said,
"Here. I’ll be nice and stop the pain."
I then broke his neck. That was the end of my science F’s and my science teacher. Pretty good right? I think I did I pretty good job. I am very wry you know even though I don’t do well in school. Well, I’m going to go for now I’ll write to you again later.
January 18th, 2007
Hey best friend. You miss me. Today was interesting. I’m very placid right now so, I am going to tell you all about it. Well I came home from school right? My mom came over to me and was like how was school? And I said that it was good. Then, she asked me if we could sit down and talk. I didn’t know what she wanted to talk about, but I said sure anyway. My mom isn’t affluent, but she gets by with what she has.
"Jeff, I feel as a mother I should know more about you", she started.
"Whatever", I replied.
"Ok. So I don’t really see you at all and I think that you need to come out of your room more and learn to actually communicate with me. I want you to take the lock off of your door as well. I want to go inside", she said.
"Ok first. I don’ t want to talk and communicate with you and second of all I am not taking the lock off my door because it is my door and it can be locked if I want it to", I replied.
What my mom didn’t know is that I lock my door because in the inside of it, there are things I don’t care for her to see. Here ill explain my room to you so that way you can get a feel for what it looks like. My walls are black. I freshly painted them like a month ago. There is red drips splotched all over the black. It looks like a body exploded and the blood flew onto the walls of my room. A cool way to look at it right? So anyway, my bed is located on the floor. I only have a sheet and its white. I don’t really like to sleep with a whole bunch of blankets. My carpet has stains on it from when I came home with tools of which I used on my victims. There is a mirror in my room that is to the right of my bed and on the mirror I have some pictures of some people. I have a picture of my mom and I and I have a picture of my friend Jess that I have known since 3rd grade. Neither of them knows that I’m a serial killer, but that’s for me to know and for them to find out. I think that the chance of me not being a serial killer anymore is just irrevocable. I also have a bevy of knives. I like to collect them. I also have a gaff from when my dad and I use to go fishing. Since he died though, I don’t use it. Now lets get back to me and my moms conversation.
"You shouldn’t be talking to me this way Jeff. I am your mother and I control your happiness and what you do. It could all be destroyed right before your eyes", she replied.
"Is that a threat?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.
"Yes", she replied. "Yes it is".
"Very well then", I replied.
I got up and walked into the kitchen. My mom watched me, but she didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t really care to ask. I walked over to one of the drawers that lay in the kitchen and I opened it up. I looked inside to see my reflection looking back at me. It was in a butcher knife and it was perfect. I then got the knife into the palm of my hand. It was so smooth and just absolutely perfect. Let me use a metaphor for you so you can get exactly how nice it was. The knife was a sheet of glass. It was so reflective and so sharp and big. It would cut just like butter and I was very excited. I could feel my blood starting to boil and it was about to burst. I turned and put the knife into the back of my pants, so the handle was sticking out and it was ready to be used. I went back into the living room and up to my mom who was now lying on the couch. I walked over to her and I sat ontop of her. I looked down at her and I stared at her for a minute.
"What are you looking at Jeff", she asked.
"Nothing. I was just taking one last picture." I replied.
" What are you talking about?" she asked.
I then pulled out the knife and stabbed it right into her heart.
"That’s what I’m talking about", I replied and pushed it in harder. It went completely through and I could just hear the sound of her organs ripping and her heart slicing into different pieces. My work was done. So then I got up washed my hands and then made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Isn’t that a cool day? I know right? Well I have to go. I have to get ready to go outside. I think I want to go for a walk. Bye.
January 25th 2007
Hey best friend. Sorry I haven’t written to you in a while. A lot has actually changed. Hard to believe it or not I have a girlfriend! Yea. Remember how I told you I had a friend named Jess? Well, her and I hung out yesterday and now were dating! I didn’t tell her that I’m a serial killer because I don’t think its necessary. Well, me and her are going to hang out today so I’ll write to you tomorrow and let you know how things went.
January 26th 2007
Journal I am so pissed off right now. Jess is cheating on me! Yea I know right? What a jerk. I caught her yesterday. It’s vague who she was with, but that doesn’t matter. She doesn’t know I did though, but oh will I make her pay for that. I have a plan and everything about how im going to do it. Ill tell you about it tomorrow. I’m going to go do what I need to do now. Bye.
January 27th 2007
Well I did it. It’s over. Want to hear what I did? It’s actually pretty bad. I can’t believe I just said that. Ok here it goes. So I went to her house and knocked on her door. She answered and greeted me with a hug. It hurt to get a hug from someone you thought loved you and then you find out they don’t. I walked into her house and brought her up to her room. I then told her I was thirsty and so she went to go get me something to drink. I then very quickly and quietly moved around her room. Her room is purple with flowers on the walls and a pink carpet. Her scent floated around in it too. She always smelt like lavender. I then went around and around until I found what I was looking for. Duck tape. I then shut the lights off and waited. She walked into her room.
"Jeff? Jeff where a re you?" she called.
I came out at her and covered her mouth I then went to her bed and took part of her comforter and stuffed it into her mouth. Her cry could not be heard and it was perfect. I then turned on the light and took the duck tape and taped her down to her bed. She looked at me and was crying. Her parents weren’t home so they couldn’t help and her phone was out of reach. I then looked at her.
" You think that you can play games with my feelings? You think that you can just date me and think you can get away with dating someone else? I don’t think so. So now you’re going to pay Jess. I’m a serial killer and congrats. You’re my next victim." I said with a smile.
She looked at me and was moaning and crying her eyes out. I didn’t care though. I cut open all of her clothes and I raped her first. She was so weak after I did that. She fought and fought and fought but I was no match for her. After I did that I smacked he r across the face. I took out a knife I had in my pocket and carved a broken heart into her chest. Drips of blood streamed down her shaking, trembling, weak, and disgusted body. I smile with enjoyment. I then untapped her and she just lie there, not moving. I then went over to her and I laid down next to her rubbing my hand up and down her stomach. I didn’t care that it was covered in blood I just wanted to rub her tummy. I then sat up and looked at her. She was so pretty and I loved her so much, but she broke my heart and didnt even care. I then took out the knife and I sliced it through her heart. She coughed and spit up some blood and then before I knew it she was dead. I looked at her for a little bit and then I got up and I walked out of her house and went home. I didn’t sleep well last night. All I could think about is the look on her face. It seemed like it hurt me more then I thought it would. I couldn’t believe I did it. Dismorning I was so upset with myself. What have I become? I would keep asking. Journal what do you think? Well, I decided that I was going to go and try to get help, but I thought it was going to take a long time. GET THIS JOURNAL! They said that they would get back to me and they just called back and hour ago and told me I had an appointment booked for tomorrow! Isn’t that wonderful! It was as easy as remembering to breathe. I can’t believe it. I guess people are always there for you when you need it, you just need to try. You need to work for what you want and fight for what you need. I did and I can’t wait to go. I hope that they don’t put me in jail for this. I’m only 15! Well, I have to burn you now journal because I don’t want to ever read any of the stuff I have told you I did ever again. It’s too horrible and I hate myself too much for it. So I guess this is good bye. You are a really good listener.
13 comments:
Author's Notes!!
1* i would like my reader to get out of this that help is always around us. This story is mainly trying to point out that even if you dont think that help is there,it is. It could also make you think of what you really value in life.You dont know what you have until its gone sometimes.This story helps to get this across.
2* I think the description works good in this piece. I think this because alot of description is used and people can really imagine stuff.There is alot of detail and it is spread throughout the whole story. I think that people who read this will really like the descriptions.
3* There isnt really alot of weak spots in this story. If anything is really weak it would probably be setting.I didnt really focus on describing the setting. I didnt really think that it is important for the people to know everything around them. I focused on the details more.
4* I think the feedback that would be the most helpful is that how the description was. I also would like to know if the story gets boring or not. It would really mean alot to know if my piece is good or not. Is it worth reading? PLease let me know.
wow desi. just wow
yours is just sick. it is about a person talking about killing people. how many ppl died in urs???????? only two died in mine, so ha and ha
The conflict of the story was that there is a teenage serial killer. it is an external conflict because he is killing a lot of people.i was very invested in the conflict of the story, except when it got too grose.
The main character in this story does not change very much over the corse of the story. at most, he probably realizes that killing is bad and he is mad at himself for doing it. no different if he did not change.
my favorite part of the story was when he was not talking about killing anyone. like when he said that he was going to hang out with his girlfriend jess. that made me feel like he was not going to be a killer anymore.
i think that the best quality in the story is how she describes stuff. like how she described how he feels about jess, or anything else.
i really could not tell you what the theme of this story is. it might be don't be a killer, or something like that, but i am not sure.
i would advise re reading your story. i saw a couple of errors in the story that made it funny. so i would fix that quick.
Hey Dez!
This was a very interesting story and it was very sad.
I) The conflict was that Jeff was lonely and he was picked on so he became a serial killer. It was an internal conflict which was resolved when he and Jess started dating. I was very invested because it was such a dramatic conflict that no matter how sick this story was I needed to keep reading to find out when Jeff would stop killing people.
II)Jeff starts off as a person who doesn't care about his murder victims then at the end after he killed the person he cared about most he saw what he had become and he hated it and went for help. His greatest insight is when he was realizing that he was a monster. This change was important because if it hadn't happened then he would have still killed everyone who got him angry.
III) My favorite part in the story is when Jeff is happy that he and Jess were dating. This occured in the rising action. "A lot has actually changed. Hard to believe it or not I have a girlfriend! Yea. Remember how I told you I had a friend named Jess? Well, her and I hung out yesterday and now were dating!" This is my favorite line in the story because he is happy that someone loves him.
IV) The tale's best quality is that the charachter really describes everything to the best of his ability.
V) The story's theme is DON'T KILL PEOPLE!! in the end he realizes he is a monster.
VI) Good story don't need any revisions.
GOOD JOB!
I. The conflict of the story was that he was a serial killer and i didn't know what he was going to next, or what he was going to do to his next "victim"! it was an internal conflict because he didn't tell anyone about this and said himself that he needed to get some help. it was resolved by telling his journal that he did make an appointment and he is going to try to get some help. i thought that the ending was very good, and i wasn't expecting that to happen, because of the things he had done to people in the past. i think that this story was already dramatic enough as it is!!!
II. At first, the main character is very to himself, which he does stay to himself throughout the story, but he was also a serial killer, and at the end, he decided to get help for himself which i think is a very good idea. the greatest development that he had made was to stop killing people for stupid reasons and not to base his whole life on murdering people. the change is important to the story because it is sad to hear what he has done in the past and it is a relief to hear he is going to change for the better. the story would be much different if he didn't realize he needed help. i think that he would have continued to kill people.
continued in next comment...
1.) the congflict in this story is that Jeff and Jess begin to date and jess but jess cheats on Jeff. this is an external conflict.
2.) the begginning of the story, Jeff is a killer but he doesnt hurt his family an friends closest to him. by the end of the story he kils his best friends/girlfriend and his mom. so he becomes more crazy.
3.) "Well, I have to burn you now journal because I don’t want to ever read any of the stuff I have told you I did ever again. It’s too horrible and I hate myself too much for it. So I guess this is good bye. You are a really good listener." this ws my favorite part becasue, well i don't know why, it jsut stood out in the story. it realy showed that Jeff had no friends and that really the book was all he had.
4.) the best quality in htis story was the descriptiveness. it was really easy to see what was goig on, even if i didn't want to. btu it was a rally good visuale story.
5.) the theme of the story is to not kill people i guess. becasue Jeff killed all these people and now, he's alone. with a book. and no one else.....sooo don't kill people!
6.) i would say just to revise how you start sentences becasue they are pretty much all the same. so other then that it wsa creepy.. but good haha nice job!
continued...
III. My favorite part of the story was when the main character finally decides to put an end to this madness because it was a relief that he was going to stop it all. This part was the resolution, or the end of the story."It seemed like it hurt me more then I thought it would. I couldn’t believe I did it. Dismorning I was so upset with myself. What have I become? I would keep asking." I picked this as the quote that stood out to me because right there i knew he was thinking about what he had done and why it isnt a good idea to continue his life like this.
IV. I think that the character was the story's best quality. i say this because she eally explained who the character was and what he had been doing from the journal entrees. I also liked the descriptions, because even though some things were VERY disturbing to hear!, she told the reader every dingle detail known about his killing jobs.
V. The story's theme is that even if you dont think that help is there, it is. And that you dont kno what you have until it is gone sometimes. The author provides all of the journals of the entrys that this 15 year old serial killer had written, and it turned out that in the last one, when he killed his girlfriend, he knew right there that he needed somehelp in order to save other people from danger he caused.
VI. I think overall that this story was written well, but it is a bit extreme for a 15 years old! May she could try to make it more realistic?
1.) The conflict of the story is that there is a teenage serial killer. It is an external conflict.
2.) The main character of the story changes a little bit but not very much. He does realize that killing is bad. HE does get mad at himself.The main characterkeeps to himself. He keeps to himself through most of the story. He does decide to get help though.
3.) My favorite part of the story was when he was just talking about his normal life not his killings. I liked it because it made you feel like he is trying to change and you can seee the character changing.
4.)The thing that works best in this story is the really good description. It makes you feel like you are actually there.
5.) The theme of the story is even though it may not seem like it people are there for you. He killed all those people and now he is alone.
6.) The one thing i would change would to mix up the beginings of you scentences they all kind of sound the same. But besides that it was a reaally good story.
The vocabulary words that i used were:
* Gaff- (noun) sphere for fishing.
* Metaphor- (noun) a strong comparison that does not use like or as.
* Acute- (adjective) sharp.
* Clamor- (noun) noisy shouting or a loud noise.
* Hyperventilate- (verb) to breathe quickly and deeply.
* Alias- (noun) an additional name.
* Hamlet- (noun) small village.
* Placid- (adjective) calm.
* Wry- (adjective) clever or funny.
* Sentence- (noun) a group of words expressing one or more complete thoughts.
* Affluent- (adjective) rich or to have lots of money.
* Bevy- (noun) a large group or collection.
* Irrevocable- (adjective) cannot be changed.
* Vague- (adjective) not clear.
Reflection Questions!!!
1) The greatest thing that i changed was my mistakes! I had so many boo boo's ha ha. I would always get like a number in there like if i was saying the sentence, he entered the room, i was of wrote it like this, he3 enter4ed the room. I fixed them though. I'm pretty sure i got them all :)
2) I think that the editing process that was the most helpful was the comments. You really got to here what other people thought of your story and you really got to hear what they had to say.
3) My stories greatest strength is description. I described everything very well and you really know and can picture what is happening and what he is doing.
4) The advice that i can give to next years students is, write a story based under a catergory your good at. My best catergory is writing horror stories. Things just pop into my head when i think of a horror title or anything having to do with scary, twisted, and gross stuff. So if your into romance, write a romance story and just think of a title. As soon as you get a title things will come pouring in. If you cant think of a title though, just start writing and soon, something will just pop up.
Nice picture. lol
thanks allyson : )
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